Tips: How to Deal with Periods .......

Nature, I swear to God, hates me with all it's might. Not only did I get the tall end of the gene pool but periods are bitches. I mean why must we get our reproductive organs shedding itself in order to tell us that in fact, we are not pregnant! I mean we should be having a fucking party that we didn't mess up our lives. Like why couldn't nature just send us pieces of cake for 4-7 days or MONEY! in order to say, "Hey, you didn't grow another human this month. Congrats dude!".

Tips on period annoyances:

1) If you get terrible cramps, get a heating pad and place it right on the lower area of your stomach. Aka over your uterus. Personally, the heat doesn't really do much for me. But apparently, it relaxes your muscles. It helps a bit and it warms your tummy!

2) If the pain continues, take a muscle relaxer or Midol. They help like no other and you legit feel like you can do anything.

3) (obviously) Put a pad on or get a tampon. You really don't want to keep changing underwear every six hours or so because you didn't have the necessary tools.

4) Eat some chocolate. Studies have shown that small amounts of chocolate increase the dopamine in your brain and it keeps your hormones on the down low.

5) Keep showering how you normally shower. Just because you're bleeding doesn't mean you get to smell terribly for a week. Keep that hygiene up!! Hygiene keeps everything healthy and lovely.

6) At night it helps to curl up into the Fetus position when you sleep. I kid you not. Those cramps come back and when they do, it doesn't hurt that bad when you curl up like a Fetus.

7) Take vitamins. I cannot stress this to you enough. Vitamins help keep your hormones under control so the cramps don't hurt as bad and your moods don't change endlessly.

8) Watch your favorite movies. It's okay to chill out and become a couch potato, you are after all shedding the inside of your body and bleeding it out.

9) Listen to your favorite music. It keeps you chill and you can relax.

10) Don't freak out about the random cravings. It's okay. Once, I ate chicken noodle soup cold, straight out of the container. Scratch that, I DRANK IT. All because I was on my period. So don't take it weird. Just eat what you feel like eating, it'll make you feel better.

Well, those are all the tips I can come up with now except, If a male specimen cracks jokes at your expense or keeps bugging you to see if you're on your period just respond by saying, "When your reproductive organ sheds its insides out and you get on a hormone craze while still trying to maintain your sanity, come talk to me asshole." I actually said that once.

Well, I shall talk to you later when I don't have a craving for clam chowder, I am not eating chocolate and I don't have a heating pad on my tummy. :)

xx
LoLo