Okay so I got a bit distracted on the title...as you can see...well I have so many to talk about. For one, ok, so I've had colored contacts since summer but I haven't worn them since like August. I put them in today deciding to shock my friends. xD people are like wtf we can actually see your pupils! So funny.
Anyway, to the more important thing, SPANISH BOY STARED AT ME. Not just once but multiple. And it isn't just like a secretive glance. NO, it was he sat and positioned himself To. Stare. At. Me. ME= THE SOCIALLY AWKARD POTATO. I'm sorry i just feel like super super happy because of it.
So i ran out of things to write. Please enjoy my newly colored eyes and yeah..
xx
LoLo
Yes I know I put night in there twice. I'll explain why. So lately, I've been staying up late because of homework and bullshit projects, and the need to study for tests. But sometimes I stay up because I don't want to go to sleep. The reason I don't want to go to sleep is because I end up having dreams that I want so much, filled with romance and always so happy. But they get so vivid and I end up thinking they're real but they're not and it sucks because that's all I want is for it to be real. What happens is I basically wake up with a broken heart and a sucky reality.
Sorry, I kinda make this all bummer and stuff but it's just how I feel and lately I've been sad. Sophomore year isn't fun at all; it's just as hard and depressing as freshman year was. I legit hate it so fucking much. I'm going to be perfectly honest here so don't judge: but I look at all these people who are dating and I wonder why are they allowed to date, because they end up breaking people's hearts and causing drama. They use and cheat on people. They shouldn't be in relationships but they are. And then I look at me and I wonder, why aren't I in a relationship? What's so fucking wrong with me that no one wants to date me? I hate it. I can't wait to get out of high school and leave this place. But that's not for another 2 years.
Sorry, I should stop before I have a mental breakdown in AP World which is ironic because I always have mental breakdowns because of this class. xD
Sorry for bugging you guys about this but I just needed to vent.....if you guys know a boy willing to chat, you know where to find me ;D jk.
xx
LoLo
The title seems bad but just hear me out. There's this fact about me you won't expect especially if you know me. I decided to start off with this fact because I didn't want to blow your minds instantaneously or make you wish you knew me. Because honestly, I ain't someone to admire.
Anyway Fact #1: My Perpetual and Strange Fear of Sex, Alcohol, and Drugs Even Though I Joke About Them All The Time With My Friends and On This Blog
- So sometimes I'll crack sexual innuendos or make references to drugs and/or alcohol and it'll be hilarious. But to be perfectly and totally honest with you, those things scare me to death. It's not even funny. Like I'll joke about them but in all reality, I'm scared for the day I lose my virginity. Hell i haven't even been kissed yet. I'm scared of doing shots and going to parties and getting into that shit because it means that everyone I know is becoming an adult. It means my childhood is over and I need to figure my shit out and that shits scares me so bad.
But what I hate the most is the fact that all my friends have this expectation that I'm going to remain pure and virtuous forever because that's the version of me they like best. It sucks that people want to mold me and make me fit like them when in all reality, I'm never going to be like them. I had a mini meltdown today but that's a story I'll tell some other time.
Drugs are seriously a bad thing because of the damage they can do. I'm not against pot, I mean go for it bud. But the hardcore drugs like coke, heroin, crack, LDS, etc. Stay away from that shit. Your life will be a disaster after those drugs, if you're lucky enough to be alive after. And alcohol, don't even get me started on that shit. My dad's mom died from liver failure when he was still a kid. I didn't even get to know her, due to her addiction to alcohol.
So, to sum up: I joke about this shit but I'm really terrified as hell from it. Don't do hardcore shit; it's not hardcore when you're in rehab...or dead. Stay safe guys.
Next week I'll have a lighter topic I promise!!
xx
LoLo
